Me: Father, I'm here, ready for your instructions. What do you want to say to me?
God: The fact that you have no idea of what to do is good.
Me: Okay…But I need direction! From you! Directly! I know you're there. I’ve seen it before! So, please come to me now!
God: I’m here.
Me: So what do you want me to do? Do you want me to write?
Me: Okay. So what do you want me to write about? Please help me use this day constructively.
God: Now there's a thought I want to take a closer look at! In certain circumstances it can do major damage, and this would be exactly the case.
Me: Can you elaborate?
God: Yes. You are so focused on being constructive that you stop listening to me. Listening to me is the most constructive thing you can do in your day. It should always be your first stop point. Everything else should come AFTER. Stop being like Martha! (Lk 10: 38-41)
Me: Okay. Well, what now then? Do you want me to pick up from that story I was working on yesterday, about the family?
Me: No?! Well…what then?
God: I have a new story for you. You can write it down here. Just let the thoughts drop on the keyboard as they come, without trying to control them.
”Once upon a time there was a little girl, who knew of great pain. She knew the depths of hell, because she had visited the abyss. But this was not all she knew. She had once known something even more important, she had known the son. It was a long time ago now and she had almost forgotten about it, as mostly the shadows of her pain would shade her face. But she still carried the son on her shoulders, so others could see it, even when she couldn't..."
Me: Okay God! I'm going to stop this nonsense right now, because this is NOT YOUR VOICE! This is just me rambling some embarrassing syrup, there’s just no way this is coming from you! I mean, by God, this is like majorly bad! There’s NO WAY I can use any of this for my English writing classes!
God: And see that right there is the problem. You already have a goal in mind, a chosen end point where you want me to go with this, therefore I can't come through effectively. You keep controlling me.
Me: I can't help it. It's in my blood!
God: You’re blood? You want to talk blood with me? I made your blood, you know, and I can do whatever I want with it, which means I can adjust whatever is wrong with it too, if need be.
Me: Well, true…so can you please tweak my controlling tendencies a little so I stop sabotaging myself?
God: Yes. Already working on it.
Me: So how do you want me to approach this now?
God: Well, first of all, with this whole writing business, you need to stop editing me when the storm of my presence hits you. Stop it! The editing comes later, not now! I know you do this editing, because it's what the enemy taught you to do, and he taught you extremely well too, didn’t he? But that's okay, because I can fix it, I can fix ALL! You just need to follow along and practice staying in my flow, that’s all. I'm the teacher and you're the student, just like in the The Karate Kid movie. You just follow Mr. Miyagi's orders, wax on, wax off, it doesn't matter if it makes no sense to you at all, because I know what I'm doing. And you'll be mad at me occasionally, yes, you'll throw off your gloves like Daniel-san did and refuse to cooperate, because you'll feel like a fool. But that's okay. It's all good practice and there's some fun to be had in there too.
Me: Fun?! Well, I’m all about fun! Considering that I've been having ANYTHING BUT fun for the last, let's see...that would be 43 years now, and counting…
God: Yes, you're always counting, aren't you? Always seeing the glass half full. Look around you! I’ve given you lots of blessings that you don't even want to consider, instead you stubbornly ignore them, because you only have certain blessings in mind, and the rest of them you refuse to see. And that mindset right there is what will destroy EVERYTHING you have, make no mistake! It's like dry rot, sneaky and deadly, it’ll spread and destroy the foundation of the entire building, and steal your future too!
Me: Yeah…you're right…(sigh) I'll try again…So what now?
God: I don't know.
Me: What do you mean you don't know! You're God, you should know!
God: Is that so? What if I told you that...uh oh, stop it! Stop editing, I saw your eyes wandering back there and you started controlling me again. Stop it I say!
Me: Okay…But God this is SO FRUSTRATING! It's like having an itch that you can't scratch! It’s awful!
God: I’m fully aware of your itch. And the burn of it.
Me: Then how do I control it?
God: Simply by listening to me. That’s all you need to do, that’s the cure, to everything.
Me: Well, I’m all ears!
God: Are you really?
Me: God, I’m trying!
God: I know my love, I know you are.